Is being too friendly considered FLIRTING in the UK?

I have had my fair share of having to prove myself to people in the UK that I am just a warm woman and not flirting.

I consider myself as someone who can hold a good conversation with anyone and laugh out loud like we've known each other for years.

As an immigrant coloured woman, who came from a background where she sees her neighbours as families even when they are not blood related, it is a cultural shock for me to see that being too kind and friendly may literally depict flirting in the UK.

I had an encounter with my friendly neighbour one day at my back garden, we were just having a morning chat about the weather and before I proceeded to my kitchen, I thought to myself “oh, I did not ask her of her partner”. A little digression, back home where I'm from, it's being respectful to say greetings like “ Good morning Rose, how is your husband?” Or “how are your children?” If the woman has children.

Back to my neighbour's, I asked “ Hey Bianca, how is David?” (Not their real names). And Bianca gave me this confused look, like why is she asking about my partner. She hesitated with her response, but I naively did not see anything wrong because I did not give it a thought until I started noticing my neighbour distancing herself. My naïve self saw David one other morning and started a chat with him. Few minutes into our chat I saw Bianca open her bedroom window and called for her partner. With smiles on my face, I said “ Hello Bianca, good morning, did you sleep well?” She gave me just a smile and then it did hit me that something does not seem right.

I asked myself “Should I have not chatted with her partner?” I mean we were literally just speaking about car maintenance and weather. Anyway, I withdrew as well and responded only when I'm being spoken to. As time passed by, I think Bianca realised that it was a cultural thing, because as we got talking again she did mention she has a pen pal from my home country and she's learnt a lot about us.

I said to my not so surprised self, “ it all makes sense now”. I know you are thinking that this encounter should not necessarily make me assume that it may be a norm here that people mistake friendliness for flirting.

To satisfy your curiosity, I did experience something similar another time, a plasterer came to do some work on my walls. Ideally, back home I would offer anyone coming to fix things in my home food, like I mean proper meals. But I thought to myself, “ would I not be doing too much if i offer him a meal? So I asked if he wanted tea or coffee. The plasterer answered “ Coffee please, with no sugar” . I served him this coffee, and we got chatting. Asking what part of the country I came from, at this time I knew I had knocked on the door that it was not meant to be open… Fast forward to the question that made me end the conversation. He asked “Are you single?” I responded “Yes but not searching”. He smiled and I respectfully walked away.

Is it just me being confused or is there a different definition of flirting in the UK that I am not aware of?

Oh another question is, am I being too much to get a friend i met at a volunteer group a birthday gift? Because I noticed this friend may now be flirting with me because of this gift. To me, the gift is an appreciation for the lifts I do get to the volunteer group

Are you an immigrant experiencing the same in the UK? Please share your thoughts in the comment section, I would like to read from you…